I know you've read Irving's Hotel New Hampshire - did you also read Water Method Man? There's a section in it where the main character gets The Clap and it's a hoot... If you have NOT read it let me know and I'll relate the story :)
The teenager and his friend boff the town trampoline, and he thinks at first "Oh, it's a rash." Then wakes up one morning, goes into the bathroom where his Dad is shaving. Son straddles the toilet, and let's loose his stream, through what feels like ground glass and razor blades. Son screams in pain (NFK)
Dad cuts himself shaving, starts to bleed pinkly through the shaving foam, then he looks at his son's Offending Member, and announces loudly, "CLAP!"
Mother, downstairs and listening to the commotion, starts to applaud ;)
12 comments:
Amen!
Dinosaurs had syphilis?
This is maybe my favourite SO FAR...
I know you've read Irving's Hotel New Hampshire - did you also read Water Method Man? There's a section in it where the main character gets The Clap and it's a hoot...
If you have NOT read it let me know and I'll relate the story :)
Cheers, Mary
I have read that one, but it was a million years ago, when dinosaurs got syphilis. Remind me?
The teenager and his friend boff the town trampoline, and he thinks at first "Oh, it's a rash." Then wakes up one morning, goes into the bathroom where his Dad is shaving. Son straddles the toilet, and let's loose his stream, through what feels like ground glass and razor blades. Son screams in pain (NFK)
Dad cuts himself shaving, starts to bleed pinkly through the shaving foam, then he looks at his son's Offending Member, and announces loudly, "CLAP!"
Mother, downstairs and listening to the commotion, starts to applaud ;)
STILL makes me laugh to think about it!
That's hilarious. John Irving is one of those great-when-he's-great, unreadable-when-he-ain't authors.
How filthy is that look that dinosaur is giving the other one? I know what HE was thinking...
It's true! He's thinking, "Man, that's some hot, hot, cold blooded dinotail there."
Can you imagine dinosaurs humping?
Probably noisier than cats. Noisier than May's neighbors.
Maybe my neighbors ARE dinosaurs! Maybe I should clap!
But I've never had sex with a dinosaur!!!
And now it's too late....
*exit sobbing*
thank god. dinosaurs DIDN'T die from syphilis. cause that's what I was taught in sex ed. free love anyone?
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